The Harvest II

News this week of Lyme Regis beach being restored with French sand and Norwegian Rocks. This will certainly puzzle future geologists, perhaps precipitating erroneous revisions to plate tectonic theory. Perhaps we need to adopt best practice from archaeological restoration: That could mean distinct seams between ‘original’ and ‘modern revision’. I guess that would mean deciding on the moment the world was no longer natural or authentic. It might mean blitzed cities reconstructed absolutely accurately in everything but colour. (imagine, if you will a pink version of the Mostar bridge )

If erroneous history is something you feel worth pursuing, you could place some orders here for fake blue plaques.

Fake-ness comes in all kinds of delicious flavours. But sometimes it’s downright disgusting. Right now, it’s almost impossible to watch TV without an almost toxic level of exposure to the worst kind of hollow corporate fakery: actors pretending to be passionate football fans. At the behest of World Cup sponsors, directors have been instructing clean cut young men to hug each other, jump up and down with ridiculous expressions of pseudo-delight with only a slight hint of aggression, with their arms pumping and fists clenched. Often their faces have painted with a flag far too accurately, like some kind of novelty ceramic product. What are these actors thinking when they are emoting so much pretend passion?

I’d always loved leafing through stock photography catalogues. Especially the section featuring business people : shots of besuited guys throwing briefcases skywards in moments of business ecstasy, or an angry CEO pointing a finger, or a business woman drinking a cappuccino while reading a copy of the FT through half moon glasses. I loved them because of the intensity, and singled minded focus they suggested was within human ability. But I loved them even more because after these images had been shot, the protagonists removed their costumes and returned to squalid bedsits to eat Pot Noodle.

Posted by sam at May 18, 2006 1:06 AM

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