One in a Taxi
The vast expanse of blackly tarmaced London geography is already damp with the chill dew of tomorrows dawn. But I'm stuck in yesterday, in a cab office miles from home listening to Melody FM. 'Some-mawh-things look mmm-bedder baby, a-just passin' thruuu' sings Elton John. Like Elton, Architecture loves the exotic. Without exoticism, Elton reverts like a post-midnight Cinderella into plain old Reg Dwight from Pinner. Likewise, architects turn back into ordinary folk with an above average collection of black polo necks. The beastly ego at the heart of the profession demands exotic morsels of glamour, power and wealth. LA! Vegas! Berlin! (and currently) Shanghai! burst into the architectural imagination like star prizes on a game show. Architects jet off to immerse themselves in someone else's misery. That way, they avoid their own misery: the horribly un-utopian here and now. It doesn't get much less glamorous than a Mini Cab office during the festive season. It ranks alongside other Xmas miserabelia: An IT guy wearing flashing reindeer horns; Christmas cards from companies who have spent the preceding year fleecing you (lawyers, leasing companies etc.) Lack of glamour is just one of its un-architectural characteristics. Cab Offices are one of those weak urban programmes that are sub-civic: Unlike City Hall, the art gallery, the power station or homes, nobody ever built a brand new cab office. They occupy little bits of left over architecture that no one else wants. There has been a long relationship between modern architecture and cheap industrial buildings. Grain stores, factories and bunkers have all contributed to the Modernist canon. But those were honest, hardworking and moral buildings. A Minicab office interior isn't moral. It's low down and dirty. This one is partially lined with ply panels. Though 'lined' is the kind of language you might use in a specification. It suggests some kind of design intent. More apt might be 'encrusted' with plywood. Scraps, scales, lumps, growths, and leftovers. A plasterboard wall runs at an awkward angle dividing the room into sub-rooms. Normal architecture grows outwards as extensions. This is more like an 'In-stension': A building desperately cannibalising its own interior because there's nowhere else for it to go. It feels perverse, like architecture malfunctioning: a cancerous tumour of planning and detailing. It an environment that's so direct, so instant. Signage is scrawled in black marker pen onto the wall with the spontaneity of toilet door graffiti as and when it's needed. It isn't designed, it's an accumulation of actions. Things, moved and fixed. A reminder that architecture is stuff piled up. This all sets a bleak background for beautiful delicate Christmas decoration . Thin, shiny perforated foils glittering against a dull and dented background. The decorations themselves are mysterious symbols, handed down through generations over thousands of years from pagan via christian to consumer. Their meanings and purposes submerged, subverted, hidden and hijacked till they fizz with cultural white noise: Ancient druid-magick fertility rights wired up to the mains. Tinsel recalls strings of ivy only made sparkling, diffuse and unnatural, glistening like Bavarian icicles. Patterns echo baroque flourishes passed from church and to throwaway novelty. Trees brought inside as though to tend and coax nature back to life from mid winters death. Decorated with spirit-angels, glowing with electric coloured magic. Fibre optic trees, white like space suits are artificial versions of nature that aspire to the supernatural. Imagine hillsides planted with colour cycling synthetic forests. Imagine birds nests lit in washes of magenta, cyan tinted rabbit warrens. What kind of electric fairy stories would emerge from this fake forest? Taken as a whole, its both not enough and too much at the same time. Some freak accident of design history means that cab offices at christmas are the only places where the trajectories of bruitalism intersect with vectors emanating from the baroque. Extremes that meet with a junction of Blu Tack and Sellotape. There are two kinds of design. One version wants to dematerialise. Think of those photographs of minimalist interiors that are slightly overexposed so that light bleeds into the frame. It's as though otherworldly things are dissolving mass. The other kind of design overwhelms us with its abundant material presence. The first is Mies, the latter is Corb. Both kinds of design are actually a way of trying to understand what it really means to exist in the world. Design turns thoughts into things. It transforms dreamy ideas that exist in your head into a real autonomous object. But often it doesn't feel very real. Instead, it often precipitates a feeling of authenticity anxiety. Authenticity anxiety is the sensation that makes your skin prickle uncomfortably when you are in the Conran shop. The quiet panic you feel distractedly flicking through a design magazine. It's when design seems entirely dislocated from the world. Perhaps the strange appeal of the Cab Office and its festive decorations is that it's both less than proper design and more than proper design. Kitsch and raw.
Posted by anothersam at November 25, 2004 11:38 AM.
Contents:
More Scenes In Cartoon Deserta
Generic Powerpoint Template: Delivering Bad News
The Best New Building In London
Book Review: The Infrastructural City
The Michael Jackson Monument Design Competition
Now Showing: John Baldessari Sings Sol LeWitt
Obscure Design Typologies: Life Guard Chairs
Osama bin Laden Cigarette Lighter: Novelty Products as Congealed Culture
Absurd Car Crashes: A Eulogy for J.G. Ballard
Now Showing: Dan Grahams 'Rock My Religion'
This Concrete 'O': On Serotonin, the M25, and the Motorik Picturesque
Church of the Literal Narrative
Philadelphias Floating Architecture
Now Viewing: Married To The Eiffel Tower
Le Corbusiers Image Hoard: Poeme Electronique
Giant American Signs: Original Learning from Las Vegas Footage
Giant Soviet Signs Cut Into Forests
Bricks Melted Into Icicles: Napalm Decorative
C-Labs 'Unfriendly Skies' & 'Bootleg' Volume
2 The Lighthouse: Self Storage & Architectural Hallucinations
Ceci N'Est Pas Une Pipe: Infrastructure as Architectural Subconcious.
Viva Sectional Cinematography!
Now Showing: The Installation of an Irreversible Axis on a Dynamic Timeline
Sim Seasons Greetings! The Rise of Neo-Winter
Geography in Bad, Festive Drag.
Simulations of Industry: High Tech Architecture and Thatcherism
From The Factory to the Allotment: Tony Wilson, Urbanist
Koolhaas HouseLife / Gan Eden: The Revenge of Architectural Media
Ruburb-ric: The Ecologies of the Farnsworth House
Telly Savalas Looks At Birmingham Redux
Acts of Un-Building: Timelapse Demolitions
Yard Filth: Next Years Hot Look
Stonehenge: A Black Hole At The Heart Of British Architecture
The Popemobile: Mechanised Robes & Motorised Architecture
The Secret Language of Surface
Information Fields: Agriculture as Media
My Bloody Valentine: Sound as Substance
A Cubist Copse: Gehrys Serpentine Pavilion
Spouting Off: Some Thoughts On The Fountainhead
Form Follows Dysfunction: Bad Construction & The Morality of Detail
Vintage Tradeshow Surrealism: International Grune Woche
Moving Houses: Buildings In Motion
Desktop Study: The Strange World of Sports Studio Design
Married to the Eiffel Tower: More Objectum Sexuals
60 Years of The Crazy Horse Memorial
Married to the Berlin Wall: "The Best and Sexiest Wall Ever Existed!"
Inflatable Icebergs: Sublimated Guilt Has Never Been So Fun
The Cinderella Effect: Phantom Architectures of Illumination
Two Deaths and a Retirement: The Strange Shape of British Architecture
If London Were Like New York: Antique Schizo-Manhattanism
If London Were Like Venice: Antique Geo-Poetic Speculations and Hydro-Fantasy
41 Hours in an Elevator: The Movie
NASA: Mapping the Moon with Sport
Lemon Squeezy: Design Tendencies after the Juicy Salif
The Nihilistic Beauty of Weapons Arranged in Patterns
Dogs: Britains Greatest Design Obsession
Detroit Sucks: The Motor Shows Last Gasp
Authentic Replicas: Football and the Franchising of Place
Folk Football: Landscape, Space and Abstraction
A Wishing Well with a Fat Up Pipe
The Camoufluers and the Day-Glo Battleship
Pseudoccino: Instant Coffee Foam
Blown Up: More Inflatable Military Stuff
On Christmas Trees, Folk Forests and Staples Office Supplies
Hampton Courts Shrouded Sculptures
Named Fabric: 20 Sponsored Pieces of Architecture at the New Museum
Form Follows Felony: The Secret Home of the Un-Dead Canoeist.
Architectural Magazines: Paranoid Beliefs, Public Autotheraphy - More on Clip/Stamp/Fold
James Bond Lives Next Door: Suburban Imagery as Industry
The Ghost of Christmas Futurism
Chapters for an Imaginary Book About Architecture
Shrouded Plinth - Urban Striptease
In the Night Garden - Surreal Landscape of Nostalgia
Kim Jong II, The Great Architect
Place Faking: Instant Heritage for the Thames Gateway
The Marc Bolan Memorial Crash Barrier.
Enjoy The Silence: Bose Noise Cancelling Headphones
Telly Savalas Looks At Birmingham
In Search of Britains Vehicular History
Scary Suburbanism: Why Horror is at Home in the Suburbs
I Like Your Manifesto, Lets Put it to the Test-o
How to Become a Famous Architect
Northampton - Sci-fi Pop Planning Promotion
Advertising Central Milton Keynes
The Velvet Underground at the Glass House
Duplikate: Kate Moss on the Production Line of Individuality
Hollow Inside: Starbucks Foam and the Rise of Ambiguous Materials
Revisions to the Architecture of Hell
Crufts: Dogs, Design and Aesthetic Genetics
Eos Airlines: Executive Bubbles over the Atlantic
Google Earths Vertiginous Mapping
Church of the Ascension and Descension
Reyner Banham Loves Los Angeles
Reading Lines: Skateboarding and Public Space
Chris Cornish: Prototyping History
The Most Visited Location in the UK
Anything to Feel Weightless Again: The Cargo Lifter and the Tropical Island Resort
'Its beauty will know no season'
2000 Years of Non Stop Nostalgia. Or How Half Timbering Made Me Whole Again.
Backpeddling into the Future: The Historical-Futurism of British Architecture
Miss Selfridges' Feeling for Fake Snow. The Oxford St. Lights and Why We Need Artificial Winter
New Tory Logo: A Hazy Shade of Politics
Jeff Koons, Rem Koolhaas, Hans Ulrich Obrist at the Serpentine
Celebrity Scents: The Bittersweet Smell of Success
Imperfect Pitch - Football, Space and Landscape
Product Placement: Making the Impossible Possible
Suburban Growth: Matthew Moores Field of Dreams
Perfect Sound Forever: The Secret Function of High End Stereos
A Little Light Product Placement
Some Advice To A Young Designer
Useless Proclamations for a Beautiful City
Topsy Turvy VSBA: Inverted Heros of an Upside Down Avant Guard
Everything Flows: ideological cartography
How Geostationary Was My Valley?
The Psychotic Utopia of the Suburbs and the Suburbanisation of War.
In a Lonely Place - Under Construction
Mach 3 Nitro Gel - Design that's foaming at the mouth.
Marchitecture. Architectural things to do in London this March
What happens when you cross a pen with a car?
Football Pitch: Best of British
The First Cut is the Cheapest - Blenheim Palace: pop architecture that goes for the jugular
Holiday Snap II : Giant Glowing French Balls
Holiday Snap: Canadian War Memorial, Vimy, France
Anatomy of an Architectural News Story
Its All About the Big Benjamins
Poundbury, unexpectedly, in the rain
The Exploding Concrete Inevitable. Lou Reed and the Casa da Musica
Untitled (Plastic Sack and Timber)
Berlin 1945 - The Obscene Picturesque
Interview: Jeremy Deller & Alan Kane
An Incredible Smell of Roasting Coffee
Langlands & Bell - The House of Osama Bin Laden
Architectural Criticism gets Sharp
Venturi, Scott Brown and my love that dare not speak its name.
Douglas Coupland: Design and Fiction
Christopher Dresser at the V&A
Fugitives and Refugees' - Chuck Palahniuk
Just What is it That Makes Yesterdays Homes So Different, So Appealing?
Everything Counts - The Sound of Geography Collapsing.
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